Day 3 - Emerge

Day 3 – Change starts with me but I am not alone

Written by Lily Chen

I started the third day of the Art of Hosting training with more energy than the previous days. I was looking forward to the Open Space Technology (OST) session. I had previously experienced OST in a more casual setting, thanks to my dear friends Narayan and Hailey. Those experiences had left a lasting impact on me, driving me to explore the concept further in a professional and practical environment. I was eager to delve deeper into how we could utilize OST as a tool for creating positive change.

Joining AoH with strong reasons and expectations, I believed wholeheartedly in its power to foster communication, strengthen connections between individuals, and pave the way for impactful change, which are aligned with my goal.

The first activity of the day was a Nature Walk. At first I expected a peaceful experience, but then gazing at the gray sky, I felt unsettled. Thoughts of environmental issues such as global warming and air pollution weighed heavily on my mind, overshadowing the tranquility I had hoped to find. I didn’t understand why we had been choosing to sacrifice our environment and health for economic growth, my heart swelled with worries and sadness again. A question lingered in my mind: would AoH empower me to make a difference in the world?

Returning to the training room, the OST session was about to begin. As participants began posting their topics on the wall, I hesitated before finally proposing my own: “How can AoH help inspire more responsible residents on earth?”

After lunch, it was finally time for my topic. I sat in my circle and waited for someone to join. After a while, Wendy and Chi came to me. Wendy shared a story about a recent incident where she struggled to help those who were involved. As she shared, I truly felt her distress and pain, as well as her eagerness to help. We have all witnessed how AoH practice brings people from different age groups, different countries, and different occupations to come together to focus on the same goal. So how could we also use this tool to help people seek common ground? What followed was a lot of interesting conversations. We discovered that AoH only works when each of us brings awareness, good intention and openness. It only starts its magic from one’s consciousness.

AoH is just a bridge; what really allows us to cross the river is self-awareness. I suddenly realized that I always hope to change others in different ways. I used to do it through activism, and now I hope to do it through AoH. But can we really change others? Do we really need to change others? Is changing others really the purpose of practicing AoH? True change should start with me. Adjusting my perspective, I reframed my topic to: “How can AoH help me become a more responsible individual?” It seemed to be a small change, but for me, it was very powerful. If I practice AoH as a way of living and start everything with awareness and good will, what becomes possible in my life? How different will my world be? Closing the circle, my heart was full of gratitude and clarity.

After the OST was over, I was filled with gratitude. We headed to a buffet of workshops called Knowledge Expedition. I joined one called Wicked Question Game, hosted by Batman. In this game each player can pick one of two roles: a question holder and a supporter. The question holder brought in a challenge in their life, in the form of a question; the supporters helped the holder get more clarity and insight, using only questions. I joined one round as a supporter, and the question holder wrote down: “How can I say no in a sincere way?”

Reading the question, my first thought was: “Turns out I’m not not the only one, others also find that rejecting others is very difficult.” Then I thought: “I’m actually not good at this thing either. How can I support her?” There were three other supporters beside me, and we took turns writing down questions that we thought might help her. The amazing thing was, when my turn came, my thinking became clear and I could ask questions from different angles, bringing new ways of thinking.

As the supporters asked our questions, we also wrote them on sticky notes. Looking at the colorful mosaic on the floor in the end, we were all amazed that such a small question could be approached from so many different ways and elicited so many different opinions. I witnessed the power of collective wisdom in refining questions and gaining clarity. As a supporter, I discovered newfound strength in offering support and posing insightful questions from different angles. The collaborative effort in tackling a challenging question showcased the transformative potential of vulnerability and shared learning. Change starts with ourselves but we’re never alone on this journey.

As the day drew to a close with a farewell party, I joined my buddies in a creative expression of our collective learnings through art. Despite our varying artistic abilities, we came together to capture the essence of the day on paper, each contribution adding to a beautiful tapestry of shared experiences. In the midst of music, dancing, and games, I sensed a gradual transformation taking root within me, a testament to the power of collective growth and learning.